Ever wonder why so many of your relationships don't get past the 2 year mark? Or why when they do, the 7 year itch proves so challenging? Or are you envious of couples who are still going strong after 12 years of love and happiness? Planetary cycles can provide insight as to why specific anniversaries highlight certain issues in relationships. You will notice these cycles with partners of all kinds, including friends, business associates, acquaintances and family.

Each of the 10 planets, (including the Sun and Moon) has its own unique cycle. In cyclical work such as this we are most concerned with planetary cycles that complete in one life time. This excludes the outer planets Uranus, Neptune and Pluto with their extended cycles.

The Sun

The Sun and Moon move almost too quickly to have a great effect. The Zodiac sign the Sun is in when the relationship begins indicates the tone or flavour of your relationship. When the Sun returns to where it was when the relationship started, 1 year has passed and you celebrate your anniversary. This return of the Sun is the "birthday" of your relationship and shows a time when creative energies of one person can support the other.

*The Sun changes signs on a different date each year. If you are unsure, please contact your local Astrologer for confirmation. Alternatively calculate it for free at http://www.astro.com/


The Moon

The Moon's cycle is short covering the entire Zodiac every month. The Moon reflects emotions and shows the daily change of feeling. The phase of the Moon at the start of each relationship can give an indication of the emotional flow within the partnership.

The middle planets

The middle planets (Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn), have cycles varying in length from 13 months to 29 years. They all make returns during an average lifetime. A planet is said to "return" when it moves completely through the sky from the point it was when you were born, or met that special someone, and returns again to that same point. For example, you might have begun a new relationship in May 2005 when Mars was in Pisces. Through April of 2007 your relationship birth chart would have experienced a Mars return as Mars passed again through Pisces.

During a planet's return themes and issues linked to that planet become more important in your relationship. Often you'll face dilemmas or opportunities tied up with the returning planets energy. A planet's return also provides a great time to start afresh in areas that planet rules, like the beginning of most cycles.
(NB these returns refer to the birth chart of the relationship, not of the individuals in the relationship.)

Mercury

Mercury has a cycle of approximately 1 year and is associated with communication, thought, speech, connection, bringing things together, conceptualizing and networking. The energy supporting the communication that brought the two of you together repeats around the 1 year mark. Think back to how you got through to that special someone when you first dated. Try some of those tactics again now. The chance to recapture that first spark of intelligence and depth of conversation that pulled you into another's orbit is possible. As Mercury returns, thoughts and conversations return to the same topics you discussed in the beginning. As you go over the same subjects, you bring the added level of depth and intimacy gained from a year together and can learn even more about your partner.
Communication now helps highlight areas of both strength and disappointment in your partnership. During this period spend time developing new communication skills and styles together. Problems may arise from a lack of understanding due to miscommunication or misunderstanding. Through a Mercury return it's important to talk to each other honestly. Open communication can help solve many problems that crop up now as you contemplate a second, third or fourth year together. If things are going well, you can harness the energy of Mercury to deepen the levels of communication between each and forge stronger ties of trust and understanding.

Venus

Venus takes about 13 months to move around the Sun and the period following a one-year anniversary is likely to be charged with Venusian themes. How do your two individuals relating styles differ? How do you show support for each other? How is love given or received? What values drive your relationship? How do you manage money, jointly or separately? Does this leave one of you paying more or do you split things 50/50? Common themes now relate to managing different values and expectations around pleasure and love. The Venus return offers a chance to reconnect with each other and harmonise your values around love and money. On a positive note, this can be a really affectionate and lovely time, as the romantic energy that brought the two of you together repeats. This means falling madly in love with your partner all over again is a real possibility now!

Mars

Most people are familiar with the "terrible twos" phase toddlers go through as they assert their independence and identity. Mars takes approx 2 years to complete a cycle and the assertion of independence at the 2 year mark can lead to power struggles. Every two years Mars returns to the position he was in at the start of the relationship and your relationship goes through its own version of the terrible twos!

Wilful, headstrong, aggressive and sexual energy shows its demanding face around the 2 year mark. If either of you feel as though the relationship has clipped your wings it's now, at the Mars return, that you'll need to reassert yourself. This can throw your relationship out of balance as roles change and power shifts. If you've been the passive partner it can be Mars' energy that encourages you to speak up more.

Hasty, rash and regrettable decisions can be made in a fit of anger. An increase in relationship energy now indicates it's time to find new goals to achieve either individually or as a couple. The trick is to direct this excess of energy into working together for the relationship, otherwise meltdown can happen quickly! What will be your focus be for the next two years now the initial passion has cooled? More energy devoted to physical pleasure and intimacy at this time can help you stay connected. Passion and anger are two sides of the same energy and you'll find you dance from one extreme to the other now.

Mars reflects how you assert yourself to ensure your needs are met, including sexual desires. Issues around "my" time versus "we" time can come up. Competitiveness may be a theme. Acknowledging each individuals need for personal space and alone time can ease relationship pressure. It's time for the relationship to strike out in some new direction. Find ways to allow each of you extra independence and space.

Jupiter

Jupiter, the largest planet in our solar system, takes 12 years to orbit the Sun. Every 12 years your relationship experiences a Jupiter Return. In keeping with Jupiter's size, his cycle is tied into "things getting bigger" that is, life gets a whole lot bigger and more demanding when Jupiter is active. Energetically this translates into more opportunity, more expansion and more love. This often manifests as the desire to broaden your horizons. Within the context of a relationship this provides opportunities for joint learning or travel. A couple's social life can get very hectic around the 12 year mark.

Jupiter is also associated with optimism and personal faith, so deepening your relationship through spiritual or philosophical pursuits is ideal. This can correlate to couples making a commitment of faith either through marriage or other significant life events (like parenthood).  Generally this is an abundant and lucky time in the relationship, however "things getting bigger" can also apply to some of the challenging aspects in the relationship, so don't avoid anything that requires work in your partnership now. Jupiter blesses you with a lot of faith and trust which will be beneficial to call on at this time. Jupiter loves anything new and foreign and the Jupiter phase every 12 years can bring up feelings of restlessness or thoughts of "the grass is greener" in one or both partners. The Jupiter Return time is a perfect period in which to fall in love again. Taking an extended holiday together or making a spiritually driven life change now are appropriate ways to honour Jupiter's energy. Your relationship will need more space, time and energy at Jupiter's return.

Saturn

Saturn is often given such a bad rap in Astrology. It's true he calls you to task if you're not holding up your end of the bargain. However he also gives you the tenacity to see things through, in good times and bad, which is essential for any long term relationship.
Saturn takes approximately 28 years to return to his original position in your relationship chart. During this period he will make 3 challenging aspects; the first after 7 years, the second at 14 years and the third at 21 years. The "seven year itch" can be attributed to these aspects within the Saturn cycle. Saturn reminds us, often through challenging experiences, exactly what our fears and limitations are. He also shows us how to survive our deepest fears when we must face them.
The Saturn cycle is about maturing and growing. These things occur over time and Saturn is not one to rush. Responsibilities must be accepted and honoured. Achievement is obvious only with the passing of time.  During Saturn periods (at the 7 yr, 14 yr and 21 yr mark) your relationship can seem difficult and barren. Through these periods you are unconsciously asked to work through difficulties and take stock of all you've achieved together. Saturn requires you to honour commitments and promises even when the going gets tough. The other face of Saturn is the diligence and sense of enduring commitment that enables you to keep working at your relationship even during the challenging times.

Saturn phases in relationships are periods of re-evaluating and re-committing. Common events during Saturn phases include the struggle to find space for an intimate relationship within the demanding role of parenting or professional responsibilities; the juggle/struggle to make ends meet financially and separations due to work or other family commitments (i.e. ill parents).
The Saturn return phase of a relationship (around the 29^th year) is a time when the boundaries in your partnership need to be redefined. Typically at this time, roles within the union change.

The planetary cycles can remind us of the undercurrents of our relationships. As cycles repeat, you have a chance to reconnect with the energy that conspired to bring you into the orbit of that special someone in the first place. The planets' themes highlight how you can keep the flame alive even after many years of being together. Their cycles also offer solutions for the way through challenges that may arise within your relationship. Having an awareness of what is prompting your trusted partner's sudden display of anger or discomfort, for example, can help make a difficult time merely a rough patch rather than an ending.

At times, it's necessary to reaffirm your feelings for your partner. Remembering how and why you feel in love with them in the first place can help to forge stronger ties for the future. On the other hand, in a relationship that's not working, the planetary cycles might remind you that you were full of lust when Cupid's arrow struck, and moving on might be the best thing.

Copyright  Kelly Surtees 2005