SUN SIGN PRAYERS

ARIES: "Dear God! Give me PATIENCE and I want it NOW !" TAURUS: "Dear God, please help me accept CHANGE in my life, but NOT YET." GEMINI: "Yo God...(or is it Goddess?)...Who are you?...What are you?.....Where are You?.....How many of you ARE there? I can't figure you out!" CANCER: "Dear Daddy, I know I shouldn't depend on you so much, but you're the only One I can count on while my security blanket is at the cleaners." LEO: "Hi, Pop! I'll bet you're really proud to have me as your kid!" VIRGO: "Dear God, please make the world a better place, and don't screw it up like you did the last time." LIBRA: "Dear God, I know I should make decisions for myself. But, on the other hand, what do YOU think?" SCORPIO: "Dear God, help me forgive my enemies, even if the bastards don't deserve it." SAGITTARIUS: "OH ALMIGHTY, ALL KNOWING, ALL -LOVING, ALL -POWERFUL, OMNIPRESENT, EVERLASTING GOD, IF I'VE ASKED YOU ONCE, I'VE ASKED YOU A THOUSAND TIMES --- HELP ME STOP EXAGGERATING!!!!!!!!!!" CAPRICORN: "Dear Father, I was going to pray, but I guess I ought to figure things out for myself. Thanks anyway." AQUARIUS: "Hi God! Some say you're a man. Some say you're a woman. I say we're ALL God. So, why pray? Let's have a party!" PISCES: "Heavenly Father, as I prepare to consume this last fifth of Scotch to drown out my pain and sorrow, may my inebriation be for Thy greater Honor and Glory."